Afternoon tea is more than just sipping a cuppa—it’s an elegant experience steeped in tradition (pun intended).
“But to truly enjoy it like royalty, you must understand the finer points of etiquette,” says Arthur Gautier of Nio Teas, a premium brand specialising in high-quality Japanese green teas.
Whether you’re enjoying it at a luxurious hotel or hosting your own cosy gathering, Arthur’s simple etiquette tips will help you master the subtle rules and customs of afternoon tea.
#1 Dress For The Occasion
Afternoon tea may be relaxed, but that doesn’t mean you can roll in wearing sweats. Most venues ask for a “smart casual” look, which means you can skip the tuxedo but avoid jeans and sneakers. It’s the perfect excuse to wear that chic outfit you’ve been saving.
#2 Hold Up The Cup, Not Your Pinky
Contrary to what you might think, raising your pinky won’t win you points in tea etiquette. Instead, grip the handle gracefully with your thumb and index finger and let your pinky rest against the underside of the cup for balance. “It should be working with the rest of your fingers, not auditioning for a solo!” says Arthur.
#3 Stir Without A Clatter
When it comes to stirring, less is more. Gently move your spoon from 6 o’clock to 12 o’clock rather than swirling it all the way around your cup, keeping any clinking to a minimum. It’s all about elegance, not making a clattering whirlpool!
#4 Saucer Stays Put
Unless you’re standing and mingling (at one of Buckingham Palace’s garden parties, for example), your saucer stays on the table. Hold the teacup by its handle, bring it to your lips for a gentle sip, and place it back on the saucer. “The only time you lift your saucer is when you need to go more than a foot away from a table,” says Arthur.
#5 Mind The Milk
To milk first or not? “Not,” Arthur emphasises. “Traditionally, milk goes in after the tea, allowing you to adjust the strength to taste.” Milk was once added first to protect delicate china from cracking, but now that is considered bad manners. “You should also never add milk to green or herbal teas,” says Arthur.
#6 The Scone Dilemma: Cream Or Jam First?
This one is a rivalry as old as time! In Devon, it’s cream first with jam on top. In Cornwall, it’s the reverse: jam first, then cream. There’s no wrong answer here—just slather it how you like and savour the deliciousness.
#7 Finger Sandwiches: All About The Hands
No need for cutlery when it comes to dainty finger sandwiches. They’re perfectly crafted to be eaten with your hands, so go ahead and pick them up. Just remember: eat them in two or three bites, not one big mouthful.
#8 Pace Yourself—It’s A Marathon, Not A Sprint
Afternoon tea is meant to be leisurely, so don’t rush through the courses! Start with the savoury sandwiches, move on to the scones, and finish with the delightful sweets. “Take your time, enjoy each bite, and don’t worry about planning dinner afterward—you’ll definitely be too full for it!” says Arthur.
#9 Never Dunk Biscuits (Or Scones!)
We know it’s tempting, but afternoon tea isn’t the place for dunking. Keep those biscuits and scones out of the tea. Instead, enjoy them with cream and jam, savouring each bite as it’s meant to be.
#10 Phones Off The Table
This isn’t the time for checking texts or taking calls. “Afternoon tea is all about escaping from the world and your troubles for a while,” says Arthur. “Keep your phone in your bag and let the afternoon be all about good company, conversation, and, of course, fabulous tea.”
#11 Napkins: The Art Of The Dab
When you need to tidy up, gently dab your lips with your napkin—don’t wipe. At the end of the tea, fold the napkin and place it to the left of your plate, signalling you’re ready to call it a wrap.
#12 The Final Gesture: Fork And Knife At 4:20
When you’re done with your scones and sandwiches, place your fork and knife in the “4:20” position on your plate. This is where both utensils are sitting at the 4 o’clock position on your plate, like the minute and hour hands of a clock would at 4:20. It’s a polite way of saying you’re finished, and the server can clear your plate.
Arthur Gautier of Nio Teas commented:
“Afternoon tea remains a cherished tradition among the British royals. It’s one of those rare customs that hasn’t lost its charm, even in the fast-paced modern world. Royals still observe the core elements, from proper teacup etiquette to ensuring the tea is brewed just right—no shortcuts here!
“This isn’t just about sipping tea; it’s a moment to pause, savour, and enjoy the company of others. Every small gesture, like stirring the tea without clinking or placing the napkin just so, speaks to the respect they hold for these customs. It’s not about showing off or being formal for the sake of it, but rather a way of embracing the quiet luxury of good manners and fine tea.
“You can experience this royal tradition at iconic venues like The Diamond Jubilee Tea Salon at Fortnum & Mason, opened by Queen Elizabeth II herself, or even at Buckingham Palace itself, where afternoon tea is served in The Garden Café overlooking the palace’s splendid gardens. Whether in these regal settings, or at home, anyone can take a page from the royal book and enjoy the subtle joys of afternoon tea.