Multigenerational holidays are something we truly cherish. Whether it’s immediate family or the whole extended clan, we love being together. We’ve done a few of these trips already and have more planned because there’s nothing like seeing everyone unwind, reconnect, and simply be with one another in a way you rarely get at home.

For most of the family, the holiday aesthetic is exactly as it should be — mornings lounging by the pool, wandering cobbled streets, discovering bars and restaurants, and switching off completely. That blissful, carefree rhythm is a huge part of why people love to get away.

But when you’re travelling with a neurodivergent child, your rhythm is different. Not better or worse — just different. You live the same holiday, but through a slightly different lens.

So here are a few notes, tips and lived-in scenarios that I hope make you feel heard, understood, and far less alone. As a mum of two boys, I’m no expert — I’m just navigating life like every other parent, learning as I go and trying to offer my children beautiful moments. And on holiday, that means balancing their needs with the joyful chaos of a big family getaway — and letting go of any guilt when our version doesn’t look like everyone else’s.

Setting Boundaries Without the Guilt

Everyone books a holiday with their own idea of rest, fun, and connection. And when you’re away with extended family, the biggest mistake people make is assuming you need to be together 24/7.

You don’t.
And honestly — you shouldn’t.

Our approach is simple:

Enjoy the bits you want to enjoy. We’ll join in when it suits our child’s needs.

There will be plenty of shared moments — morning coffees, poolside chats, slow evenings, laughter that echoes around the villa — but it won’t be every outing, every activity, or every meal. And that’s okay. Family understands. They know we’re all on the same page, and they know a “no” isn’t personal — it’s just what works for our child in that moment.

holidays with a neurodivergent child — Photo by Natalya Zaritskaya on Unsplash

Ask again later, and the answer might be completely different. That’s the beauty of neurodivergence: each moment has its own rules.

Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re the structure that makes the holiday enjoyable for everyone.

Accommodation Matters: Creating a Safe Base for Everyone

Where you stay can completely shape a holiday — especially with neurodiversity in the mix.

Why a villa is ideal

A villa gives everyone space to breathe.
You can drift in and out of family time naturally, without pressure or timetables. You can explore separately during the day and come together in the evenings for slow, easy, quality time.

For a neurodivergent child, a villa is often a dream setup:

Space to move freely
A safe environment without crowds
Familiarity that builds fast
Flexible meals
Predictable quiet zones

Once my son acclimatises — which he does quickly — the villa becomes his safe base. His “home” for the week. That sense of grounding makes everything else smoother.

If it’s a hotel — choose wisely

Hotels can work, but research is key.
Think about:

Kids’ clubs
Sensory-friendly spaces
Room size and layout
Quieter pools
Calmer breakfast times
Nearby outdoor space

Then create your own rhythm.
Maybe you join the family by the pool for an hour. Maybe you invite them to your room for a simple meal. Maybe you rotate who stays back so others can explore.

The beach

There is always a quieter corner.
And for sensory-seeking children, the sand can be heaven. Digging, scooping, burying toes — it’s calming, grounding, engaging, and wonderfully simple.

Meals Out: The Part People Don’t See — But Should Understand

But here’s something that quietly weighs on my mind every single time (quite a lot):
We can’t go out for a sit-down meal.
And we don’t want anyone to try to accommodate us, feel guilty, or change plans for our sake.

Believe me, we have tried. I’ve genuinely lost count of the attempts. My child doesn’t sit, doesn’t settle, and always reaches for the outdoors — where he can move freely and escape overstimulation. And honestly, I don’t blame him. Restaurants are sensory overload packaged as leisure.

So when the suggestion comes — “Shall we go out for dinner?” — the answer, for us, is simple:
You go. We won’t be coming. And that’s absolutely fine.

What isn’t fine is when people hesitate or change their plans because they feel “bad” going without us.

Please don’t.
Truly — go.

This is our life, and we accept our restrictions. Would I rather be sitting in a restaurant battling a stressed, overwhelmed child, not enjoying a single second of conversation, eating a couple of rushed mouthfuls of now-cold food, secretly praying everyone will hurry up so we can leave?

Or should I embrace the barbecue back at the villa — quiet, comfortable, familiar — where my child is gated, secure, safe, surrounded by comfort foods and favourite toys, and where I can actually breathe a little easier and enjoy my evening?

It’s a no-brainer.

Go to that restaurant and have a bloody lovely evening.
We’ll be having a lovely one too — just in a way that works for us.

And genuinely, I would feel worse knowing your plans stopped because of us. Go, enjoy, eat good food, drink good wine. We’ll catch up when you get back and share a glass of vino together.

We don’t feel left out. So please don’t feel it for us.
We feel relieved — because the reality is this: it’s a meal out I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy, stress I would barely have coped with, and a situation where my child would have been miserable… and I’d have paid for the pleasure.

So yes — go. Enjoy. Live your holiday.
We’re good.

Memory-Making Ideas for Neurodivergent-Friendly Family Holidays

Not every moment has to be shared for the holiday to be magical.
Here are relaxed, low-pressure, high-joy ideas that work beautifully for both neurodivergent kids and big family groups:

Easy, Calm Moments

Early morning dips before the pool gets busy
Quiet balcony breakfasts
Sunset watching — from the beach, balcony or villa garden
Evening strolls in cooler temperatures

Sensory-Friendly Fun

Sandcastle building
Water play with cups or pool toys
A small travel sensory kit
Bubble play in the garden
Quiet corner with blankets and storybooks

Family Togetherness That Actually Works

Group BBQ nights at the villa
Movie nights with popcorn
Cousin playtime in a safe, familiar space
Board games or simple card games
Photo scavenger hunts around the villa

Little Joys for You

A coffee alone on the terrace
An uninterrupted shower
A short walk while family watches the kids
A shared glass of wine after bedtime

These moments — simple, adaptable, unrushed — are the ones that make multigenerational holidays special. Not the big outings. Not the perfect plans. Just the real, gentle, joyful time spent together.

Words By Hannah Parnaby (Proud mum of a caring 12-year-old and a fiercely unique 5-year-old)

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