Each September brings with it the start of a new university year, and the kids leave home for new pastures. As excited students travel to university towns to begin their new life away from home, parents all over the country feel quite differently about these major life changes. It’s important for parents to deal with this healthily and be proactive with what they do next.
For that reason, we have put together this article to explain what you should do once your child goes to university and help you get the support you need, or just give you an idea of what you can possibly do next. Let’s take a look.
Deal With An Empty House
The first thing you will notice after returning home once they’ve been dropped off is that your house is empty. This doesn’t have to be a sad time; instead, you could use this as an opportunity. With their old rooms, you could transform it, either temporarily or permanently.
Considering September marks the start of a new academic year, students going off to universities and parents becoming distressed seeing their nest getting empty, it’s normal for Britons to hop online and try to find out more about how to cope best with all these changes.
However, the shift in the number of searches for the common name given to the feeling of sadness they experience (aka ‘the empty nest syndrome‘) is truly eye opening. Last year, there was an 86% spike in search for ’empty nest syndrome’ in September compared to August, with previous years seeing even bigger increases of up to 125% during the same month.
The trend shows a decrease in October, but it’s not until November that the number of searches go back to the August average. This further suggests the jump is mostly related to parents being distressed about their children moving away as they start university, many of them leaving home for an extended period of time for the first time in their life.
Having all that empty, extra space that was once filled with laughter, mess, and perhaps even mood swings, can make the absence feel even stronger. So, it might be best to repurpose the extra space into something that will be used.
There will be a few options available to you, depending on what you’re looking for, and we will list some examples below.
Guest bedroom
Repurposing your children’s bedroom into a guest bedroom can ease the loneliness after they move out, by making it easier to host guests. This way, there’s still plenty of space for your children to come home and visit too. You don’t necessarily have to remove everything from their bedroom, but you can enhance it.
Home Office
Perhaps you’ve wanted to create a home office for some time, with hybrid working becoming the norm. Now is the perfect time to make your children’s old bedrooms into your dream working space. Even if you don’t work at home, you could do a lot with this room. For example, you could turn this home office space into a gaming room, and have somewhere for you to disconnect and truly enjoy your own company.
Gym
A popular option for many parents, when they have an empty room, is to turn it into a home gym. This doesn’t mean you need to transform it into a professional gym completely, you just need to utilise the empty space with some equipment. Some examples include a treadmill, but you could also just use the space for a yoga mat and some free weights.
Get Support For Empty Nest Syndrome
The empty nest syndrome is the name given to the feeling of sadness and loss many parents experience when their children move out. Whether they leave home to go to university, get married or for a new job, empty nesters can find it difficult to adjust to their new life without kids around.
After almost 20 years of life spent together in the same home, it’s common for mothers to feel a sense of lost purpose now that the kids are out of the house. This is why the syndrome often affects women more. As their identity becomes tied to motherhood, the moment children fly the nest marks a sudden change in their roles and responsibilities.
Although the empty nest syndrome is quite common, it’s often not recognised, and the symptoms can remain unaddressed for years. After all, kids becoming grown-ups and starting their own lives is a normal part of life. Unfortunately, because of this, the signs can be easily dismissed.
Empty nest syndrome can sneak up on you, which is why you should look out for specific signs. When you are aware of these signs, you will be better placed to prepare for them and deal with them appropriately.
Anxiety: Fear about the future is normal when such significant changes happen in our lives. But look out for feelings of anxiety that are constant and won’t go away.
Depression: Deep sadness is one of the most common feelings parents get when they see their kids flying the coop. Parents shouldn’t hesitate to ask for help from mental health professionals. If any parent is feeling depressed, then they should put themselves first and seek help as soon as possible.
Loneliness: As parents readjust to the new life, it’s normal for them to miss the house being full, the busy mornings or the family dinners with everyone gathered around the table. A feeling of loneliness will usually set in for a few days or even weeks.
Loss of purpose: Now that the children are old enough to look after themselves, the role of being a parent will change. This can lead to a sense of emptiness as the full-time job of parenting becomes a thing of the past.
Inability to rest and sleep: Lack of sleep shouldn’t be ignored. Empty nest syndrome can often leave parents struggling to sleep, which isn’t healthy at all. Parents should do all that they can to improve their sleeping habits. They could make this happen by trying to stick more to a sleep schedule. This could be achieved by setting strict times. Purchasing a new mattress could also help parents achieve this.
Conclusion
This article has covered what you should do in the aftermath of your child moving out for university. Use this article as a guide, but know your focus should be on your own mental health. Think of the things you want to do.
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