Controlling behaviour is always a red flag in any relationship, and it often doesn’t stop at emotional/physical abuse. More and more people are falling victim to financial abuse in the UK, and this can be a hugely stressful and scary situation to find yourself in, particularly if you are in debt.
Financial abuse is often overlooked, and many people can feel embarrassed to discuss this, however it is so important to reach out as soon as you see any signs of coercion.
Here, Anel Andrew at MoneyPlus Advice wants to highlight an increasingly concerning trend of financial abuse in relationships.
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Some signs to look out for are:
- Someone forces you to take out money or get credit in your name
- Someone makes you hand over control of your accounts – this could include changing your login details
- Someone cashes in your pension or other cheques without your permission
- Someone adds their name to your account
- Someone has offered to buy shopping or pay bills with your money, but takes it, and doesn’t use the money how you agreed
- Someone asks you to prove what you’ve spent your money on
- Someone stops you accessing your bank, loan or credit card accounts
- Someone controls what you can and can’t spend your money on
- Someone makes you take out new insurance policies or stops you paying your existing ones
If you find yourself in this situation, always reach out to loved ones and consider accessing help from financial experts. If you are struggling with debt, you can visit MoneyHelper to get free advice.
THE IMPACT OF DEBT ON MENTAL HEALTH
Debt is a heavy burden for anyone affected, but it can come with an additional layer of stress for single parents. Juggling bills, childcare, and everyday expenses on a single income can be very challenging – particularly if you’re working part-time to try and save money on childcare – and many parents facing the pressure of being the sole provider, and the fear of falling behind and not being able to provide for their children, can feel worried, isolated, and helpless.
Without another person to make decisions with and offer financial support, being a single parent can take a big toll on your mental health. 68.3% of single parents said they felt overwhelmed, and 65.1% said their financial situation had negatively impacted their mental health.
When you are consumed with debt, the constant worry can severely impact your emotional wellbeing and cause financial anxiety; 53.6% said they worry about their financial situation much of the time, and a further 23.5% said they are worried all the time.
THE BIGGEST FINANCIAL CONCERNS FOR SINGLE PARENTS
It’s no secret that managing your finances can be difficult, especially if you don’t have all the support you need. Raising a child is a wonderful thing but it also has many costs, from food to clothes to childcare, and as a single parent, all financial responsibilities can fall to you, which can take a toll not only on your finances but also on your mental health.
Both debt and mental health are topics that can be difficult to talk about, particularly because of the stigma that is so often attached to them.
FOOD & BILLS
The two things single parents spend most of their money on, other than rent or mortgage, is food and bills – 52.9% of single parents stated that most of their income goes on bills, and 30.2% said it goes on food.
44.5% of single parents revealed that they are most worried about not being able to afford food and bills, and 66.2% said they had to cut back or go without essentials like food and utilities.
The Office for National Statistics (ONS) reported that inflation for food and non-alcoholic drinks was typically 9% in the 10 years prior to January 2022, but from January 2022 to January 2024, this rise was around 25%.
CHILDCARE
When it comes to childcare, the biggest difference between mums and dads is their employment status. The majority of single dads, 69.43%, worked full-time, compared to just 45.39% of single mums, and double the percentage of women were part-time or unemployed compared to men.
Childcare could be one of the reasons for this. 8.67% of single mums surveyed said that childcare was their biggest financial concern, with almost double the percentage, 16.38%, of dads saying the same. 13.54% of single dads said that outside of rent or mortgage, childcare is where they spend most of their money, compared to 7.38% of single mums.
This shows that men are more likely to work full-time and pay for childcare, whereas women may be more likely to work part-time and look after the children at home. But while this may save money on childcare, not working full-time has a big impact on your finances, and a huge 90.77% of single mums worry about their financial future, compared to 78.6% of single dads.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Log your wins
Keep a diary of all your financial wins/progress. Whether it’s paying a minimum payment or skipping buying a takeaway to save money, keeping a diary of positive actions that you have taken to aid in gaining financial freedom. Keeping a log of all your financial wins serves as an asset to refer to when you are feeling anxious about finances.
If in debt, don’t ghost your lender & ensure payment plans are sustainable
It’s easy to bury your head in the sand when you feel overwhelmed, intimidated and worried however, talking to experts can reveal opportunities that you never knew existed.
There are several ways to tackle debt and chances are, a lot of them you have never heard of. DMPs (debt management plans) can be an essential for anyone looking to alleviate the burden of multiple unsecured debts such as credit card bills, payday loans, and overdrafts. Finances and debt can feel like a taboo subject however, instigating open and honest conversations with professionals will likely present the opportunity to uncover solutions you didn’t know existed.
Speak to your GP if you are struggling with your mental health, or get in touch with organisations such as Gingerbread